I guess I'm on the blog band wagon. Haven't really considered myself as a blog person but my life lately has seemed to been all over the place and I'm not really sure what kind of person I ever am. Or I'm staggering on who I thought I was.... Back during that very small period where I was sure.
I guess I should start little by little since I'm quite overwhelmed by what to include in my first ever blog.... The idea simply occurred to randomly me today as I'm running out of friends to confide in!
I've never been one who was 'popular' or had unlimited number of friends. And that, as i got older was simply my personal choice. I've always renowned myself as being a GOOD friend. Meaning I really don't betray my friends, if I ever have, it certainly not intended or was a result of my own self-omitted poor choice/s.
However, lately I'm doubting my personality and ways I haven't since my teenager, I'm burning through friends like a wild fire in southern Cali in summer. Unknowingly or impulsively hurting the people closest to me with abandon. (I'll get more specific later, but for now....) I'm wondering if I've turned heartless...? Ruthless... Gone crazy....Or just plain unthoughtful and RUDE. Or as my mom put it "self absorbed."
Maybe I'm having a personality disorder... Or WHAT???
I do know that
A) I'm lonely
B) I'm sad
And C) still not sure I'm a bad friend....
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